I Can't Quit You: part 2

    I got the blues this morning,

    I smoked all my grass last night

    My pipe is empty n' you know

    that that ain't right

    I'll be takin' resin hits

    until the morning light

Sunday 1/26

    Damn! I find myself this morning doing something I haven't done in years: taking a resin hit. I used to do this shit all the time back in the day...back in the day when weed didn't necessarily taste good, you did it for the high, just like we didn't know what good beer was back then...good weed was strong weed but anyway, in a pinch resin was better than no weed...you couldn't just wait for the dispensary to open. But here I am anyway fiending 'cos they won't open for another three hours and I'm taking resin hits on a Sunday morning. I don't fuck with scraping resin, haven't in a long time...obviously you can get a lot more that way, and actually get high: but it's disgusting...you are using some messy method to harvest the crude oil that we as adults should either take the time to clean and discard the carcinogenic muck or just toss out your pipe and buy a new one...but since learning how to appreciate weed anew as an adult using legal quality cannabis from Blue River and other trustworthy retailers, and packing my pipe day in, day out with much more terpene-rich flower than the shit I used to smoke, even three years ago, that you can actually get, not just some delta-9 but some terps in that resin too...damn, I'm gonna go have another hit, as I sip my morning coffee and look back over my notes from the past week.

    There! That one really took...spicysweet flavor of indica lingering in tomorrow's memory of lemon fresh sunsets forgotten by the wheel of time labor and cashback...

   When I last left you ten days ago I was celebrating a victorious two days' abstaining from weed...ready for that to be the start of a longer break from cannabis, part of a New Year cleanse and reset. Read part one here.

    

Thursday 1/16

    I was ready for that to be all she wrote when I woke up Thursday morning I knew, once my direct deposit went through I could get some cash out at as soon as they open, and I even thought I knew what I was gonna get --- a 1/2 ounce of Jack Herer, a delicious sativa to enhance life without losing focus or getting sloppy --- something I could maybe make last --- but wouldn't you know it? They sold out!

    Maybe it was all meant to be, and is just forcing me to actually stick to my plan and TAKE A BREAK FROM WEED

    It's only 6:30 as I sit sipping coffee here on the couch (not locked, but mobile! --- I could get up and go for a run in the freezing cold --- so much energy --- back in the day you might need that energy just to go meet your guy and wait for him to show, or it turns out he has to babysit his little brother so he changes the meet location at the last minute after you just spent five minutes getting your bicycle lock to click secure a sigh of relief against the meth-heads that'll just clip the cable anyway --- but nowadays we just sleepwalk to the dispensary and walk back smoking pre-rolls past police cars, nonchalant --- but now that I'm not smoking I have so much energy --- what to do with it?) [Editor's note: smoking since then may have made me a little less manic, maybe even lazy, but that's in between all the shit that I have to do, stocking grocery shelves, cooking for my family...but in any case, I was actually able to go for two half-hour-plus runs in the freezing cold while very stoned; I think I would've lasted fifteen to twenty minutes without cannabis] and I look at other places' menus, considering going to another dispensary which I haven't since last August, it's very rare --- and while there may be some slightly cheaper weed available in Somerville if I can wait till 10, I really get to thinking I should write a piece about Blue River Terps to explain why it is I never go elsewhere. It's HIGH time (get it?)

    I should tell you --- I did start to get irritable last night. The liminal threshold when the THC starts its mass exodus from your system --- it could take weeks or months to get it all out of your cells but anyway I'm starting to feel that thrill of sobriety again (or is it just a coffee rush unaffected by sedating cannabinoids?) all these smells and nerve sensations I had forgotten about while I was high.

    Part of it is just having something to do. My OCD fixates on an activity, in this case smoking weed, and I could just sit around smoking bowl after bowl for hours till it's all gone, like I used to do back in the day (read a stoned memory from highschool here.)

Saturday 1/18

    I caved Thursday morning and grabbed an eighth of Trainwreck, then yesterday I grabbed a couple pre-rolls, indicas...now I wake up groggy Saturday morning --- Oh Man! I can't believe I ate all that candy from 7/11 and passed out on the couch watching the same old Seinfeld re-runs on Netflix. Well, I can...it was indica, after all.

    It's too hard to write in this state --- sativa is far better for the creative mind to stay focused, just to keep going even if I'm just jotting down whatever nonsense no one'll read and posting on X to be liked by bots when all I want the Word to connect man & man, once again the way language is s'posed to --- on a side note, and you can't see this 'cos I've already typed it up from this notebook but my handwriting is actually much better right now --- I wonder if that's related to the indica. Anyway I'm gonna need some coffee if I'm gonna write any more this morning. 

    Thursday was fun though --- running, I stayed focused and jogged for 40 minutes with intermittent sprints, played video games with my son, before he goes away to college; sativa helps performance of both these activities...and of course eating was really great, after not being high for two days: but ultimately dangerous, with 7/11 down the street, and my wife baking a lot these days.

To be

Continued?

or discontinued...

that is the question:

                THC you later...